Reviewing ‘Pentecost’

So, this is a Christian thriller. It’s got that Indiana Jonesy feeling with the Search for the Religious MacGuffin, the MacGuffins in this case being played by a collection of twelve stones the Apostles took from Jesus’ tomb that were imbued with miraculous whatever at the original Pentecost.

But I swear, sometimes thrillers just come off as Mary Sue frolics with more guns and Krav Maga. Too much page space is spent on describing how unconventionally attractive and lithe and blahblah our protag Morgan Sierra is and on the muscular hawtness of Mr. McShipTease. And also like cheap, melodramatic romance pulp, the Tragic Backstory Fairy has made her rounds. YOU get a tragic backstory! And YOU get a tragic backstory! And YOU cheated on your pregnant wife with her twin sister — oh hells yes, motherfuckers, we have straight-up soap opera shit here. It makes me want to inject booze directly into my bloodstream.

But it looks like pretty much everybody is a potential Redemption Character, and I dunno that I’ve seen that before, but this book has already confused character development with tragic backstory and Mary Sue bullshit. It’s not like we can expect better from mainstream publishing, but that’s not a merit, either. And Joseph Everett is one of the cartooniest villains I’ve seen outside of actual cartoons. He’s a scummy businessman-politician who is also a wife-beater, alcoholic, pyromaniac, and superlative creepy bastard who might as well have EVIL in bright neon signs floating over his head. Goddamn is this trying too hard.

Basically, the only interesting parts are the pseudo-legends of the stones and some bits about Carl Jung and his mystic-woo leanings. About everything else, my opinion can be summed up as this:

the field of fvcks

In other words, it’s boring as shit. It’s not even bad enough to be good in a horrible sort of way.

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